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Lasting Love Sex and Intimacy special guest Dr. Nick Delgado

Transcript of Dr. Michael Grossman, together with Dr. Nick Delgado, talk about tips and techniques to close any gaps and master Love, Sex and Intimacy. You may view the YouTube video here.

 

Transcript Start Here:

Dr. Nick Delgado

Welcome to the Age Gracefully Show with Dr. Michael Grossman, well known anti-aging stem cell and regenerative medicine specialist, bestselling author and founder of the OC Wellness Clinic in Irvine, California. Each week he shares the latest information to help you look and feel your best so you age gracefully. And here's your host, Dr. Michael Grossman.

Dr. Michael Grossman. We're here with a special guest, Dr. Nick Delgado and we're going to have a very, very interesting show today on Aging Gracefully. So, Dr. Nick is an extremely well-known expert in the field of reversing aging. And Dr Nick is quite an expert in vegan diet to promote anti-aging. He's a world strength endurance record holder. He's really an expert with all kinds of things related to diet, hormones and endurance. And he's written so many books. It's hard to keep track of your books, Nick. So, one of your books is, "Simply Healthy" the cookbook. My wife loves your cookbooks; she uses it all the time. One of my favorites of your books is the, "Mastering Love, Sex and Intimacy" book. And these are really fantastic books that I encourage my listeners to read these books. These are really great books, but you have many other books. Do you have any other more recent books that we should know about?

Dr. Michael Grossman

Well, I have the original book, "Grow Young and Slim," and I have a book called, "Weight Loss and Energy Now." Those are books you can get on Amazon, usually used copies. And you know, I'm most proud of the two books you mentioned: "Mastering Love, Sex and Intimacy" because that came out on Valentine's Day. It's a very recent publication, and, you know, I think the important thing is that, you know, with health and anti-aging, there's always new developments. But you and I haven't experienced going back nearly 40 years or more. And so, you know, having that rich experience, we can not only talk about our own clients and patient's experiences, but our own experience in our evolution. I know you speak at big conferences. I just got back from Asia - a big three day conference where Dr Herzog was unable to attend so I had to do all of his talks. And so it was pretty exciting, and we got to talk about mastering love, sex and intimacy, which is one of my favorite topics. So it was... it was really exciting for me. Every year and every day is kind of a blessing, you know, just because I know me being one of your patients. In fact, you know, using some of your protocols and technologies kind of putting the best of both worlds of anti aging lifestyle, medicine, even energy medicine and the power of the mind. I mean, to me, that's that's where we've all evolved to.

Dr. Nick Delgado

Excellent. So, share with our listeners what your perspective is on what things they could do to master love, sex and intimacy.

Dr. Michael Grossman

Well, I think, you and I know that the first big area is communication and love language is of course, became quite popular, and I wrote about it in my own book because I think there's kind of a big disconnect right now between men and women and that disconnect, even if they've been in a six month relationship or a five year or a 20 year marriage, it surprises me how often I interview couples and meet with couples over my 40 year career to find out that there's this kind of hidden secret. And that hidden secret is that many men do not understand or appreciate women's need to be kind of nurtured and give them about 20 minutes to warm up and communicate and find out, 'Do they want to be touched and held?' 'Do they want to have an auditory communication or a visual and maybe acts of service?,' particularly in this day and age, with women being in the workforce so much that it's nice when the husband kind of takes care of some of their busy chores. But all of that, including helping with the kids or helping with various areas of thought but more importantly, ii is really understanding what a woman needs to be felt loved. I mean, there's six human needs, and these six human needs are absolutely essential. If you meet two of the needs, you're going to be doing well; if you meet four of that needs, you're going to be doing great; if you meet six of the needs, you've got a solid relationship. And I think that part of it is that men and women communicate differently. And so that part, I think, is the big, glaring difference that needs to be kind of brought together.

Dr. Nick Delgado

And men and women communicate differently because their brains are different and their hormones are different.

Dr. Michael Grossman

A lot different. Yeah, very true.

Dr. Nick Delgado

So, there's this whole psychological area that you're describing. And then there's the physical area that we have to think about. You know, the chemistry kind of area. What are your thoughts on that?

Dr. Michael Grossman

I think this is the biggest issue that's kind of ignored amongst relationships - meaning that men make the assumption based on how our culture has educated us with little or no instructions of how to please our woman or, you know, you're in a relationship a man-woman, woman-woman, man-man, I'm not making judgments here, but the point is, you know, most men understand what men need, and women know what women need. But I found I had to read books written by women about what women like and how they needed to be pleased and the reality of Kinsey Report. And I just found that globe, I believe it was an Academy Award winning movie that the Kinsey Report about Alfred Kinsey from Indiana University - how he had done commissioned a study with four gynecologists who examined 900 women and he took a probe and examined where the pleasure areas were in a woman's vagina, in the external areas, and he was quite shocked to find. And I don't think this got back to the general public that well. But the vagina has very little pleasure, nerve endings whatsoever. So even from a perspective of traditional intercourse, that Sigmund Freud would lead us to believe that an orgasm brought about by oral sex or buy a vibrator or external feelings, and the G spot is an immature orgasm versus through Intercourse, which is quote ,"a mature orgasm." And so, I think, not only have psychologist misled us. Even Sigmund Freud on his death bed said, 'I don't understand women.' For him to say that kind of tells you that this missing link, that I believe pornography has done a big disservice to all of us, kind of portraying, warm up the woman briefly and then just as quick as you can enter her and start to be so graphic. But then just continue as long as you can and somehow is all about maintaining our hard firm erection. And then the act would be complete. When the man is done and the woman is satisfied, I don't think so. In fact, one study showed Dr. Grossman, that when women were pulled that 85% of women stated that they did not achieve sexual satisfaction in each encounter with their man whereas men, 95% of the men believed that they fully satisfied their woman in each encounter. So you've got one thinking, 'she's completely satisfied' and the reality is she was not. So there's this communication of what as a society or what as like a teaching technique and education. There are societies in the world where the women are taught about how to bring themselves about to feel comfortable about masturbation, how to share that with their lover, how to really come about two full orgasm and what it takes to reach that end point. But it's not - that's not the end. That's just the beginning. That's where the communication starts to open up. Then women look forward to having that intimate encounter. They look forward to having sexual enjoyment at night or in the morning. Now men performed best in the morning - they're hormones are highest; men are getting tired towards evening. But if you kind of change the way the format that is foreplay becomes main pick play as the book she comes first, so eloquently described much like what I'm teaching in mastering love, sex and intimacy because the technique, but also how you speak to a woman, how you bring her into that safe place of opening up her sensuality because that's the most sacred thing that women have to share with us.

Dr. Nick Delgado

Yes, and what you're saying is so important because the research shows that when there's a profound sexual relationship between a man and a woman, it not only affects their psychology and the intimacy of their relationship, it promotes health. It promotes well being. It promotes longevity. It's a lot of good research on that.

Dr. Michael Grossman

The longest lived people, it's been reported that men and women have early interest in sex. They maintain their sexuality throughout their lifetime. These are the individuals that often reach centaurion levels of past one, age of 100. It's interesting that when a mate passes on, often times is very difficult for the other mate to continue. So that love, bond and connection, maybe it puts more emphasis on taking care of ourselves little more when we're in a love relationship. We brush our teeth a little better, which there is an association with dental care. Max VO2 - maybe we exercise more, and that exercise to stay in shape keeps us on top of our game physically wise. And emotionally, you know, I think people who really have a great love relationship, it really gives a purpose to life. It makes us look forward to certain things and challenges to work out together, particularly when kids enter into the environment. Wow, now you have all these added dynamics. So you have to have a strong relationship to build, nurture and raise children as well.

Dr. Nick Delgado

And one of my favorite studies is the study of that 40 plus year heart study where they measured longevity after the age of 50. And the best correlation to longevity - is not cholesterol, blood pressure, diabetes, - it's the quality of your relationships.

Dr. Michael Grossman

I completely agree with that. And if you think about the six human needs, it includes contribution significance, which we gain significance from the love of another and certainly certainty within a relationship. But there's also an interesting finding that uncertainty, variety and that might bring in fantasy and love and interesting paradigms that enter into a love making relationship. And I think it's very important to recognize that personal growth and development contributes to a person's feeling of the quality of life. And these are all part of the things that I think are essential for a quality relationship as well.

Dr. Nick Delgado

Yes, and the hormones that are created when an individual has orgasm with someone they love changes the physiology, it changes your whole home when we know there's so many different hormones - oxytocin and endorphins and so many different hormones change when you have a profound relationship with someone that you love and you're experiencing sexual pleasure and that affects your physiology enormously.

Dr. Michael Grossman

Absolutely. And I think that there is kind of a limiting belief that as we get older, we just accept a decline in an intimate and love of satisfaction or ability in orgasmic quality, and you and I know there's a strong correlation between, shall we say, testosterone levels and an individuals, quality of life, and they're feeling of well being. In fact, there are studies that show when an individual who has low testosterone level, particularly in men, their ability to achieve orgasm is reduced and the frequency of mounting that is, that they described the medical literature, mounting the significant other engaging in sex increased significantly almost on a daily basis. But in relationships where the testosterone levels low in a male, the encounters reduced down to once a week then once a month. And so this engagement becomes very important, I think, from a hormonal perspective, not just testosterone. One of my favorite books, by Theresa Crenshaw, she wrote a book, "The Alchemy of Love and Lust," and it was an interesting book because she went into all the different hormones about PEA, Phenylethylamine, the love-at-first-sight hormone about oxytocin and its effect on that bonding feeling and the interesting effects of estrogen and progesterone and the monthly cycle. So, you know, women have a stronger drive at certain times during the month, and we've got to respect that as men and more importantly, foster that love, intensity and engage because it's not always about when the man is ready. What do we need to do to actually foster a situation where a woman feels comfortable with coming up to us? Our wife or girlfriend saying, 'Hey, I want to make love, Honey, I really feel like I'm in the mood.' But the biggest mood killer is, 'Hey, the bills are paid. You're upset. You didn't get the dishes done.' I mean, there's kind of strange distractions, and I call those programs that people run. They run them at the subconscious level, maybe due to training from a religion or training from their parents. And this drama enters the relationship, and it could be low cortisol level, too. And so then we have spikes and adrenaline and so anger and hurt and jealousy - all these negative emotions people need to learn how to let that stuff go. And like you teach, it's the magic of dance and choreographing together that love relationship that people so foster. So hormones play a big role but also knowing how to kind of optimize those hormones either external, with creams, injections and pellets and so forth, and also herbal interventions that kind of metabolize those hormones that being the optimum range. So all of it gets back to the power of the mind and the power of the body and hormones and your diet and your sleep quality as well, right?

Dr. Nick Delgado

Yes, There is a whole bunch of different things that we have to consider. But this has been a great, great discussion. I'm going to have you back on the show because you have so much experience, wisdom and enthusiasm for reversing the aging process. And, I want to make sure that people know how to get in touch with you and to get one your books. So we went through your books, to show us your books again. You have?

Dr. Michael Grossman

They can find me at nickdelgado.com and they can look up books on Amazon based on my name, "Dr. Nick Delgado" and the books there and my live webinar podcasts are coming out live right through nickdelgado.com where I engage people and answer their questions. And I look forward to having you as a guest on one of my coming webinar podcasts because you're one of the great physicians who really understands hormones, the power of the mind and body and how it all works together. And it's a pleasure having worked with you for I don't know how the number of years; it seems like in the early days we found each other and respected each other's capability. And you being a physician makes you extra special because you kind of can get in there, look at their blood work, you know, evaluate their symptoms. You're one of most thorough physicians I've ever worked with, and it's just a pleasure to know you and and to recommend. But I did forget to mention one of my best selling books is, "Acne Be Gone For Good," because we've helped over 50,000 young kids clear up their skin and acne. And of course, that tends to be a hormonal issue as well. And we found some novel supplements that tend to calm down that acne and correct the problem, along with some dietary changes so and detoxification. So, please check out also "Acne Be Gone For Good," co-written with Dr. Sonio Badreshia, who's a board certified dermatologist. One of the greatest developments because we've helped so many kids with the problem of acne and adults tend to have acne as well.

Dr. Nick Delgado

Well, excellent. Well, I appreciate that so much, it's such a pleasure. And so, this is Dr Michael Grossman. You can find me on my website: ocwellness.com and we're happy to be able to share this information with you to seeing and speaking with you all next week. Thanks so much Dr Delgado. Bye now.

Thank you for watching the Age Gracefully Show with Dr. Michael Grossman. Join us next week for another informative discussion to help you age gracefully. Be sure to visit us at ocwellness.com.

 

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